Θα έχει τύχει σε πολλούς. Ψάχνοντας για μια καλή και φτηνή αγορά, καταλήγουμε σε ένα προιόν προβληματικό, που κοστίζει πολύ περισσότερο σε χρόνο και κόοπο συντήρησης και χρήσης - ενδεχομένως τελικά και σε χρήματα. Τα ποδήλατα δεν είναι φυσικά η εξαίρεση, όπως φαίνεται και από την περίπτωση της Amy.
Η Amy που λέτε, έψαχνε για ένα αναδιπλούμενο ποδήλατο. Δεν ήθελε να δώσει πολλά χρήματα, κι έτσι κατέληξε σε ένα φτηνό αναδιλπούμενο Citizen Gotham (ναι, η Citizen φτιάχνει και ποδήλατα!).
Τον πρώτο καιρό ήταν ενθουσιασμένη, αλλά γρήγορα ήρθαν τα μηχανικά προβλήματα και ο ενθουσιασμός μετατράπηκε σε θυμό. Το χρονικό της θυελώδους σχέσης περιγράφεται στο γράμμα που έστειλε η Amy στο ποδήλατό της.
Για να δούμε τι γράφει στο blog της…
Dear Citizen Folding bike,
Today you have filled me with rage fueled by disappointment and unmet expectations. I was not sure what to do with my feelings, so I figured I would take a cue from my cousin Jessica and write you an open letter that you cannot read.
After years of watching richer, cooler people whiz past me at stoplights on more expensive Go Bikes and Dahon’s, that I could not afford, I was so happy and excited to find you! Within minutes of discovering your beautiful $180 price tag, I googled the SEPTA regional rail map to determine if purchasing you could fulfill my bike commute fantasies. I watched your demo video on your website, and underwent scorning from my friends when I showed them the link. I even wrote you a blog post!I was so happy and excited when I ordered you, and had you delivered to my friend’s house. I loved you so much, I would not have you delivered to my door, where you could be stolen if I was at work or napping. I sent you to the friend I trust the most: Fredda. This is where the blindsiding began from you dear folding bike. I endured hours of teasing at a BBQ at her house, from my friends who mocked your unique style. I defended you valiantly, proclaiming how my butt would soon shrink, while my friends got fatter in their SUV’s.
So, while the timbuk2 messenger bag I ordered to match you came ASAP in the mail, you arrived to Fredda’s late! On top of that, when I arrived to pick you up, you came damaged! Your beautiful box was full of holes, and you were so damaged in shipping that I had to return you! I took so much care to deliver you to the proper place, and you took no care in wrapping yourself for shipping so you would be ready for me to ride you. While I carefully choose my clothing in which to bike, you carelessly choose to dress yourself for shipping!
This was very problematic for me folding Bike! My return meant I had to endure my week at the beach without you! While my in-laws exercised on their bikes, with a refreshing breeze in their face, I was forced to burn off my fried seafood by running in the hot southern sun! While I was running (when I should have been riding you) I fell into quicksand up to my waist and fell over in front of a high rise condo filled with hundreds of people! Even small children and old people laughed at me! They should have been watching with awe and envy as I unfolded you on the sidewalk, but instead they were pointing and laughing.
It only got worse from there folding bike. I was so excited when you arrived for the second time, and I took you on a test ride to the train station, but my excitement soon turned to embarrassment when your chain fell off, and I could not get it back on. All of the fat rednecks in their trucks and air brushed conversion vans viewed me with mockery while I pushed you back to my house in my walk of shame.
My husband, who has yet to fail me this horribly, fixed you and taught me how to make up for your deficiencies. This was wise, as your chain has fallen off FOUR MORE TIMES! We had two or three fun days in the sun as I brought you along as my SEPTA buddy and rode you to my office, but then you began to fail me again. Even though it was 95 degrees outside that day, I did not want to let you down, so I decided to ride to work anyways.
As it turns out, this was a ridiculous decision because as I was riding down Market st. with your orange paint glistening in the sun, YOUR PEDAL FELL OFF! I, in turn, fell off of you, and smashed my stomach into your handle bar. Once again, I was the subject of public scorn as hung over Drexel students laughed at me while I dragged your frame in one hand, and your crank in the other. I was mocked so severely that I hid behind a tree to put your pedal back on. I woke up the next morning with a hideous bruise on the stomach fat I thought I’d lose by commuting with you to work.
When I realized I could not finish riding you to work, I had to call my boss/friend to leave a meeting to pick me up. But, you know what? HER PHONE WAS OFF! This meant that the secretary had to YELL what my problem was up a flight of stairs, on the first day of new staff orientation. She was in a meeting with her boss, so she had to send her assistant to come and rescue me.
I dragged you home again, and my husband fixed you again, as we began to patch up our relationship. I continued to ride you faithfully, even twice with strep!! BUT TODAY YOU FAILED ME AGAIN! This time, I was riding you in front of a group of my clients on Lancaster ave. in West Philadelphia, and as soon as I waved, YOUR PEDAL FELL OFF AGAIN! I again, crashed my bike, and was almost hit by a trolley and a car! Now, not only do hung over drexel students laugh at me, so too do my clients whom I am supposed to supervise. I was so angry at you while I pushed you to 30th street, that I considered throwing you into the river. I blissfully considered this thought while near the bridge, and you should know that the only thing that saved you from your watery doom was a bored police officer standing nearby.
Consider our relationship over folding bike! Once a hater, always a hater! You have hated on me by embarrassing me, and treating my feelings with disrespect. Oh well, I guess I will unload you to an unsuspecting environmentalist on craigslist, and get a Dahon for Christmas. And BTW, mother earth hates you too, because since you cannot control your components, I will be forced to spew fumes into her atmosphere. This further complicates things, because it is giving John McCain more reasons to drill for oil for my car in a WILDLIFE REFUGE! Your lack of coming through for me is increasing demand, and giving that DRILL, BABY, DRILL crowd more fuel for their fire. Thanks, but no thanks folding bike, for your wheels that got me nowhere.
